The 12 Freaky Gingerbread Houses of Christmas

Categories: Holidays
haunted gingerbread.JPG
Awesome. This looks like the gingerbread house where Lurch would reside. Even though it has reindeer, stars, Santa, and a snowman, it all manages to look, well, a little noir. Shades of Tim Burton.

gingerbread trailer park.jpg
Whut is it, ma? 
I'm all outta that ding-dangled pumpkin in a can again! I need you to run down to the Mega Quik-E Mart and get me some! 
Ma, I'm watchin' my fishin' show! They's just about to catch 'em a channel cat and everythin'! 
Jimmy, you get down there right now! And don't buy no fancy stuff -- get Food Town, it's cheaper! 

gingerbread house bacon.jpg
The general public, clamoring for a bacon-clad gingerbread house, issued a new demand: Instead of cured meat stripped from a pig, the finished creation must also reference a '70s-era pornographic film.  

And that, gentle reader, is how The Beyond The Green Door Bacon-Festooned Gingerbread House was born.   

It now resides as part of the permanent collection of the Oscar Mayer Gallery in Madison, Wisconsin. 

lebron gingerbread.jpg
Visual double-entendre time. At first giving off a stately vibe, like a huge Gothic cathedral in Oslo -- with flying buttresses! -- this one takes on a new dimension with a little imagination and/or a dirty mind. Something sorta symbolic about this one (and creamy).

gingerbread memorial.jpg
Pretty sure this is the Pentagon, the nerve center of the nation's military, shortly after the terrorist attack of 9/11. Immortalized in gingerbread. Actually, those look like graham crackers. Other inaccuracies: There were no peppermints in the central courtyard that September, and gumdrops have never been planted on the south end of the Concourse. 

gingerbread apartment building.jpg
In this three-story work that begs multilevel interpretation, one thing seems sure: The architect of such a structure probably didn't plan on peppermint sticks as support posts. Building codes mention something about earthquakes. Other questions: Is the guy on the second floor a "jumper"? Why are there no walls so we can see their painted-on TVs? What are the green things? And is the front of the building some sort of chocolate composite?

Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Twitter: @CleanPlateBPB.

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