Traveling Today? Four Foods Guaranteed to Confuse the TSA

Categories: The List
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So you made it home for Thanksgiving, and you're flying back to the Sunshine State. Only problem? Mom loaded you down with leftover pies, cakes and other comestibles to bring on the plane (where, if you're flying Delta, you can stock up on the world's best cookies). Will traveling with food be an enormous hassle in the security checkpoint?

In a word, yes. But as long as you're wearing your lingerie to spice up the patdown, why not bring along some food items that, yes, they're required to allow? Never mind the fact that some of these foods would be the perfect disguises for tasty, tasty bombs.

1. Up to six pies.
It's unclear whether this is a holiday-season exception or a year-round security loophole. Pumpkin, apple, half-eaten pecan... just imagine all the stuff you could hide in that delicious filling. You still need to send your pies through the scanner, though (bonus: they'll come out piping hot!). Helpful tip: "We do suggest you take it as a carryon so it doesn't get squashed in your checked luggage."

2. Raw meat. We'll skip all commentary aside from pointing out that that means this is now TSA-approved apparel:

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Helpful tip: Remind the TSA agent to Purell his hands after your patdown.

3. Play-Doh. Okay, while it's allowed on the plane, it's not technically a food... but then how do you know what it tastes like?? Yeah, exactly. This one is a convincing simulation of plastic explosives, which could lead to some airport tragedies. Helpful tip: Just stand your ground:


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4. Chocolate fondant cake. Is it a liquid? Is it a solid? It's both, and it's exquisite! Bring this through the line, and the TSA personnel will never know that inside that perfectly crusty, moist chocolate exterior, there's a globule of pure liquid chocolate destruction just waiting to explode all over your seratonin receptors. Helpful tip: Actually, it's best to travel with this anywhere you go.



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