Email AuthorMatthew Hendley
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Arizona Cardinals Lose to Atlanta Falcons; Things Are Getting So Bad That Ryan Lindley's Throwing Footballs
November 19, 2012 in Valley Fever
The Arizona Cardinals lost yet again yesterday, coming up four points short against the Atlanta Falcons in the Georgia Dome, and as an indication of how bad this season is...
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Best Word to Describe Obama-Voter Ban at Pinetop Gun Store?
November 19, 2012 in Valley Fever
freakingnews.com"Nice try, Reynolds!" -- Barack ObamaIn case you missed it, there's a fellow in Pinetop who has banned Obama voters from his gun shop.Southwest Shooting Authority owner Cope Reynolds told...
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Obama-Voter Ban at Gun Store Is Kind of Like a Don't Ask, Don't Tell Policy
November 16, 2012 in Valley Fever
FacebookThe sign on the door of the Southwest Shooting Authority.Attention Obama voters: we have found a way for you to get into the Southwest Shooting Authority in Pinetop, despite the...
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Daily Show Hits the "Meth Lab of Democracy" Again to Show Government Gridlock Isn't Bad
November 16, 2012 in Valley Fever
Yet again, Comedy Central's Daily Show with Jon Stewart found a reason to hit up Arizona -- or the "meth lab of democracy," as its host calls it.See also:-After Election...
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Koko Anderson Decided to Take Her Child on a Drive... Down a Runway at Sky Harbor
November 16, 2012 in Valley Fever
MCSOKoko AndersonKoko Anderson took her 2-month-old son on a drive last night, on a stretch of straight and even concrete.What we're saying is, Anderson drove into the airfield at Sky...
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Obama Voters No Longer Allowed at Pinetop Gun Store -- "Effective Immediately"
November 16, 2012 in Valley Fever
FacebookPart of the newspaper ad (full version at the bottom of this post).If you're one of the 736 people in Pinetop who voted for President Obama last week, let it...
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Maricopa County Mugshots of the Week: Lofty Aspirations
November 16, 2012 in Valley Fever
MCSOEvery week we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert's own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike...
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Don't Worry, Folks: Santa and His Machine Guns Are Back in Scottsdale
November 16, 2012 in Valley Fever
sgcblog.comMerry Christmas! In case anyone was worried, we can indeed confirm that Santa (yes, kids, the real one) will be back at Scottsdale Gun Club this year with his machine guns. See...
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Dumbest Idea of the Week: Andy Thomas, Secessionists, or Holly Solomon?
November 16, 2012 in Valley Fever
sodahead.comThere were a lot of strange ideas proposed this week around the state, like the Governor Jan Brewer's thought that she can run for a third term -- even though...
Pinal County Jail Earns a Top-10 Rating (as One of the "Worst Immigrant Prisons in the US")
November 15, 2012 in Valley Fever
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Joe Arpaio: "Illegal Aliens" Keep Trying to Run Away, So All Deputies Get Automatic Weapons
November 15, 2012 in Valley Fever
Sheriff Joe Arpaio put out a press release today, in part explaining the reason that every MCSO deputy will be getting an automatic weapon."More and more illegal aliens are attempting...
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Maria Bustamante: Stripper by Day, Alleged Human Smuggler by Night
November 15, 2012 in Valley Fever
PCSO Maria BustamanteThe stereotypical stripper answer for why she or he's a professional stripper is usually that they just need the money, but what does someone do if they're already a...
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Ron Barber Up 709 Votes Over Martha McSally; Uncounted Ballots Starting to Run Low
November 15, 2012 in Valley Fever
Congressman Ron BarberAfter one full day of vote-counting, Democratic Congressman Ron Barber's lead over Republican challenger Martha McSally increased by just 55 votes.Although McSally could definitely pull out a victory,...
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Lucy Parra Was Out of Tent City for Almost an Entire Day Before Allegedly Abandoning Her Kid at McDonald's
November 15, 2012 in Valley Fever
MCSO Lucy ParraLucy Parra was released from the Tent City jail Tuesday morning, and by Tuesday night, she was back in the slammer.The reason for her second trip to jail: allegedly...
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Best Reader-Submitted Name for Arizona's (Imaginary) New Government?
November 15, 2012 in Valley Fever
chronicleoftheoldwest.comIf there's one thing all of the secession talk has provided, it's awesome names for Arizona's new government when it becomes a nation (which is never).For those who missed it,...
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John McCain Has Officially Made President Obama Angry Over the Benghazi Ordeal
November 14, 2012 in Valley Fever
Senator John McCain -- who's been barking about the attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya, for quite some time now -- has officially upset the president over the...
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Joe Arpaio Still Trying to Invite Himself to the White House to Drink Obama's Alcohol
November 14, 2012 in Valley Fever
Photo by Matthew HendleySheriff Joe Arpaio, running dry on grandpa's old cough medicine.For the second time, Sheriff Joe Arpaio had publicly attempted to invite himself to the White House and...
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Attention Arizona Secessionists: Some Considerations for Your Brilliant Plan
November 14, 2012 in Valley Fever
chronicleoftheoldwest.comWith President Obama's re-election, the empty threat from the people who just loathe the Leader of the Free World has changed from "I'M MOVING TO CANADA" to "WE'RE SECEDING."By "we're...
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Ron Barber Currently Leading Martha McSally by a Grand Total of 654 Votes
November 14, 2012 in Valley Fever
Congressman Ron BarberNow a week after Election Day, counties across Arizona are still counting votes, and the winner of one congressional race is still undecided.Democratic Congressman Ron Barber currently leads...
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Scarier Thought: Joe Arpaio as Sheriff at Age 84, or Andrew Thomas Serving as Governor?
November 14, 2012 in Valley Fever
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (left), and disbarred attorney Andrew Thomas.Two guys are talking about running for public office in the next several years, and the thought of either man being elected...
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Phoenix DJ Austin Head's Assault Designated as Anti-Gay Hate Crime
November 13, 2012 in Valley Fever
via...
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Harry Reid Barks at the Moon, Asks Arizona Officials to Count Votes Quickly and Accurately
November 13, 2012 in Valley Fever
wikimedia.orgAttention elections officials across the state: Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is asking that you all count the votes "promptly, accurately and equally."We weren't aware that everyone was just lollygagging...
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Man Run Over by Wife for Not Voting Against Obama May Be Permanently Disfigured
November 13, 2012 in Valley Fever
Gilbert PDHolly SolomonThe Gilbert man run over by his wife this weekend -- as she allegedly blamed him for President Obama's re-election -- may have "permanent disfigurement" as a result,...
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Obama Haters Are So Upset That They're Asking the White House to Let Arizona Secede
Why the Rest of the Country is Laughing at us.
November 13, 2012 in Valley Fever
chronicleoftheoldwest.comHistory's a bitch, isn't it?Why would out-of-towners ever write off Arizona as a place just full of bozos and lunatics?Well, the petition to the White House requesting that the Obama...
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Jan Brewer May Actually Be Serious About Running for (Likely Unconstitutional) Third Term
November 13, 2012 in Valley Fever
Photo by Matthew HendleyGovernor Jan BrewerIt appears that Governor Jan Brewer may be serious about seeking a third term, after reading that she said this for (at least) a third...
